Monday, April 13, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Take me home to Jigglebox
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Mathematics and the Poet
[With fore and aft excerpts from "Charles Bukowski Screams from the Balcony, Selected Letters 1960-1970"]
"There is always this sense of futility and disgust that you have been hammered finally into something which you do not want to be, and as long as you are conscious of this.. you are going to be pretty generally unhappy... This is sad but it makes me glad I've written a few poems today... I do not want attention. I want myself and they are tearing the arms of my mind apart."
What now for the poet?
Will the looming crash kill him too?
Will the mean needs of food, clothing & shelter
(Buzzing gnats to the soul who wants only to write)
Finally do him in as the suburbs empty out?
In the neighborhood of his sister's rental house
(The bank took her home in March)
There are sad signs
Abandoned pets wander streets as
One in six houses stare mouth agape
Empty windows reveal empty rooms
People driven out by
Mathematics
Unlike many, the poet was good at mathematics
But found he cared much more for feelings
Pursuing the latter doggedly in poems and prose
He clocked two decades of pen & ink
For pennies
For mathematics, as with a woman scorned
Shadowed him bitter
Confounding success
But Lady Mathematics is busy this December
Busy as Santa and all of his elves
Busy as a the lone Grinch with a grudge
Busy taking
Turning out dogs
Pounding REPO signs into unmowed lawns
She's readjusting the equation
Taking more from the middle than ever
Calling it vital measure
To save the banks and auto makers
Pounding out badges and guns and truncheons
Hiring more police from the pools of newly jobless
More police to protect us
From ourselves?
No
From the Joneses
You know, used to live next door
Slightly higher credit rating
Cause enough for righteous envy
Now living with the kids in a minivan in the Wal-Mart lot
Possessions packed pathetic in rooftop marshmallow box
Now Mr. Jones has dreams riddled with desperation
By orange arc sodium light of sleepless night
He tacks down the list of questions that plague him
Recalling a long-forgotten equation
From Mathematics was it?
No, English
The five W's
He has answers to none
At the party goods emporium
Mathematics is a myth
Recession pure charade
In the festive aisles it is the Eighties again
The poet dons dozens of silly hats
Affecting appropriate accents to please his nephew
Eight and suspiciously serious for the
Mardi Gras and Pirate booty aisle
The boy finally cracks a smile
When from the myriad colors and themes
The child chooses army junk
The poet refuses
Explains why
The child persists
So the poet extracts a promise
If I buy you this army costume, will you promise
Never to join the military when you grow up?
The boy agrees
In the parking lot
With the battery dead
The boy gets a lesson in how to push start a car
Back at sister's house
The poet gets a lesson in
Irony?
Humility?
Absurdity?
The boy's father, it seems, may soon join the army reserves
Having exhausted other options for saving the family
Somewhere in this poem
Somewhere in the middle
The poet had occasion to wonder
If perhaps Mathematics
As busy as she is
Had forgotten him
That he might breath a sigh of relief
She hasn't
He won't
Like a loan shark
Like a mafia don
Like a terrorist
Having failed to kill him
Mathematics now hunts his loved ones.
Poetry seems so pointless now
Like an adult promise exacted from a child
Not to go to war, not to die for nothing
Poetry is futile
Don't believe it, brother. - RSM
"Poetry must be forgotten; we must get down to raw paint, splatter. I think a man should be forced to write in a roomful of skulls, bits of raw meat hanging, nibbled by fat slothy rats, the sockets of musicless staring into the wet ether-sogged, love-sogged, hate-sogged brain, and forevermore the rockets and flares and chains of history winging like bats, bat-flap and smoke and skulls ringing in the beer... The fact that the poets of the world are drunk is a damn good indication of its shape."
[Fore and aft excerpts from "Charles Bukowski Screams from the Balcony, Selected Letters 1960-1970"]
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The Thanksgiving Prayer that says it all
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Dentata Morbidium
Feel the essential pulse that
With its quiet promise
Buys us everyone those things most ethereal
Most important, least tangible
Bouquets of time like wild columbine blooming
Sonnets of serenity and space fathomed
Chocolate boxes of surprise and wonder
Rings of love boundless
Feather beds of dreams
Now picture shooting rat poison straight into your neck
Imagine killing all the little children inside you
Each a cell a-dancing
The dance of regenerative life
Killed with the poison of neglect
At the speed of blood a-pumping
Nowhere in the body is far from the brain
But James!
You gulped down death with every swallow
Never mind the candy necklace of myriad pills
The 30-packs of Milwaukee's Best Ice
Never mind the endless chain of hand-rolled unfiltered smokes
Never mind the dope, the coke, the codeine cough syrup
From crooked docs cross the border
Your head was full of bacteria, brother!
Full of madness not intangible nor untreatable
But easily extractable!
Yet from rotten root to gums to blood
The wretched stuff went rampant
Septic
Systemic
No more time like wild columbine
No more sonnets or surprise
No more boundless love nor dreams
Bad teeth killed you dead.
But "Death not ends it," Jim Morrison said
Maybe so
But severed - yes
From me
From us
From all who loved you
From all new friends and opportunities and light
From all I opened up to you
By inviting you into my world
After first descending in yours
Like the film about the gynecologist brothers
One following the other into morphine addiction
Knowing no other way to reach his identical twin
Than to follow him in
Down the rabbit hole
James!
I miss you terrible
Come back!
Return Lazarus James!
Together we will check into Betty Ford
You can run rings of Jamesian logic round the nurses
With your colossal IQ and sardonic dry desert wit
We will fly to Oaxaca
For no other reason than it has a funny name
And on the way to the surfside palapa cantina
We will stop at La Dentista
and shout "Pull them all out!"
A blood bath it will be
But a damn fine affair
Our own oral menstruation
All that evil bacteria
All that single cell madness
Will leap from you
Like a million toxic fleas
From a dog on fire
Suckers for pain
We will rub the salt on our gums
Then knock back fine tequila and
And toothless, proudly suck the limes
Because the only absolute in this life
Is that death separates
So we will drink hearty me James
Because no vice could ever kill
A colossus the likes of you
It took and enemy more insidious
Hiding there in plain sight
Smiling at us
Smiling through the mirror at you
Teeth
Rotten to the core
Imagine shooting rat poison straight into your gums
Blue chemical toilet treatment
Cyanide
I think of New Zealand poet Janet Frame
A mouth full of dead wood at age twenty
Got her eight years of electroshock hell
She got off easy
You got dead
Dentata morbidium
Or perhaps this is all just bullshit
The imaginings of a deluded poet
And a well-meaning nurse
That really it was your mother who killed you in the end
I'm back in Bisbee now
A year and some months hence
Sitting a stone's throw from One Arizona Street
Where last night I peered in your bedroom window
My palms warm on the flat cold glass
I sat by the the fire pit we made together
Sat on your back stoop
Summoning conflagrations from the storehouse of time
It's all there still
Cleaned up yes
Made nice-nice for the benefit of real estate
But our bonfire energy - ha!
That will never be doused
Let the buyer beware, eh?
My first thought was to buy the place
But you left no will
And your mother who you say despised you
Pinched rich and bitter with empty hunger
That oft comes of too much money
She took it all
The alleged millions left by your father
Still in probate when you died
Everything
Right down to your little house
And at one hundred fifty thousand
It's too much for this poor poet
With credit like a napalmed jungle
It might as well be a billion
But I can dream!
Which reminds me
Of the little game I've been playing with myself
Denying the logical source of my recent ear infection
That long dead molar
Too long awaiting the money for root & crown
Tomorrow I will walk into Mexico at Naco
Have Martinez yank it out
They still let you keep your pulled teeth in Mexico
I will keep it then and clean it
Glue it in my art car
On the alter I made just for you
I will give it a name
I will call it James.
- copyright Rick McKinney 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Eat your heart out Bill Bryson
"I've been enjoying Dead Men Hike No Trails, reading in fits and spurts, hiding the book from my bosses who don't know I'm heading to Georgia in March. (I haven't finished your book. But I'm about half a bottle of wine in and feeling a little spooked...) Your tale is intimate, and thankfully so, because who better to tell about how much I've savored this read, than the author? And how often does the reader, especially an anxious one like myself, find it necessary (let alone possible or comfortable) to write the author?
"As your words walk through my home state of Massachusetts and my obnoxious roommate yells around the kitchen, I have my haven of the book and my music. When you wrote "transfixed by Radiohead's Pyramid Song" I gasped and physically threw the book to my feet. That was the song playing on my iPod. So in whatever event coincidence is, whatever forces bring music and reading and dreams together, I appreciate this otherwise superficial connection with you. Thanks for making that possible." - Sara Haxby
(Read Sara's blog!)
Give someone you know the gift of the freedom of six months in the woods this holiday season by picking up a copy of Dead Men from independent booksellers Powells.com, or from the author at Jigglebox.com should you desire an autographed copy.
Also, if you have read Dead Men Hike No Trails but not reviewed it, please take a moment to say a few words about it purely on the level of did you enjoy it, did it inspire you, etc, at Powells.com, a vendor I'd much prefer to see readers buying it from than the big corporate A-hole-a-Zon.
Thank you. -RSM